September 2011
2 posts
1 tag
Kate Spencer: Los Angeles. →
I grew up in LA, but lived in NY for a few years. This piece that Kate wrote is so wonderful! It’s articulating everything I feel about LA. I’m annoyed when NYers judge LA and think it’s full of fake blondes and emptiness. It’s not. It’s beautiful. Of course I miss NY’s energy, but LA is home. oh and Kate- the hipsters in NY are dirtier and they do more drugs. ...
Sep 20th
Sep 13th
1 note
April 2011
2 posts
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one of my favorite sketches.
Apr 11th
1 note
ListenMoment of Weakness. Written by me Produced by...
Apr 10th
March 2011
3 posts
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fuck. yeah.
Mar 10th
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spolikeluzhate: I’M THE NEW SPOKESPERSON FOR MASTURBATION! Written by Celeste Ballard Starring Shannon O’Neill Directed & Edited by Adam Sachs
Mar 10th
Mar 10th
46 notes
February 2011
2 posts
Feb 16th
37 notes
Feb 16th
January 2011
3 posts
Thanks again.  →
Jan 19th
Nate Shelkey wrote this adorable song for my dog... →
Jan 16th
Jan 4th
December 2010
2 posts
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A new version of the old *classic *my song I wrote last year also - I plan on changing the lyrics again… this is the official second version.
Dec 13th
Dec 3rd
November 2010
2 posts
you guyssss!!!
Follow my grooming blog! http://www.tumblr.com/tumblelog/gogroomer
Nov 25th
Nov 5th
October 2010
3 posts
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Oct 15th
2 notes
Oct 15th
Dear Lucky,
Do you know that: I regulate my apartment’s temperature to keep you comfortable? I spend too much money on expensive treats cause I know you like them/can chew them? My email address is named after you? If you’re gone outside for more than just the few minutes it takes you to pee, I come looking for you even though I know you won’t go anywhere? You can wake me from the...
Oct 7th
September 2010
4 posts
Sep 27th
3,854 notes
Two months later.
And so it begins again and again this mind-numbing journey. The search for contentment  The search for the happy end. Let it start all over again. and again…. and again….
Sep 20th
I will never not love this poem song. Brand New Colony The Postal Service. I’ll be the grapes fermented, Bottled and served with the table set in my finest suit Like a perfect gentlemen I’ll be the fire escape that’s bolted to the ancient brick Where you will sit and contemplate your day I’ll be the waterwings that save you if you start drowning In an open tab...
Sep 7th
Sep 4th
349 notes
August 2010
4 posts
Dear Molly,
Please don’t leave your cookies on the counter, because I really want to eat them. I want to eat all of them. I want to bathe in them. I want to take a bunch of cookies and put them in my sexy areas. I want to take a cookie on a date, start a relationship, move in together, propose to, marry and make sweet love to my cookie I want to have little cookie children, name them names like chocolarry,...
Aug 30th
I eat because I’m stressed because I eat because I’m stressed because I eat because I’m stressed because I eat because I’m stressed because I eat because I’m stressed because I eat because I’m stressed because I eat because I’m stressed because I eat because I’m stressed because I eat because I’m stressed because I eat because I’m...
Aug 16th
“I-I-I-I came to dance, dance, dance, dance I hit the floor cause that’s...”
– Taio Cruz “Dynamite”
Aug 11th
Aug 8th
Aug 1st
July 2010
8 posts
Jul 27th
And so it begins again and again this mind-numbing journey. The search for contentment  The search for the happy end. Let it start all over again.
Jul 15th
Jul 9th
44 notes
Get your shit together. Fall apart Get your shit together. Fall apart Get your shit together. Fall apart Get your shit together. Fall apart Get your shit together. Fall apart Get your shit together. Fall apart  
Jul 8th
Jul 6th
Jul 6th
Some days I wait for the poached egg.  But not today.  Sorry my friend We’re gona have to be simple for now.
Jul 5th
June 2010
3 posts
Jun 19th
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This is why I’m still single.
Jun 11th
1 note
Jun 9th
May 2010
5 posts
May 28th
May 22nd
May 17th
9 notes
Anytime you brush your teeth with the opposite...
It’s super hard. Trust me. I speak from personal experience. 
May 15th
Anytime you have trouble urinating....
Think of Niagra Falls. Trust me. I speak from personal experience. 
May 15th
May 1st
April 2010
10 posts
What's my next step?
I’ve been asking myself this lately. In the past few months I’ve been accomplishing little things that I didn’t think I would/could do. I’ve been performing outside my comfort zone, writing songs and sketches and getting more involved. But I feel like there is so much I want to do but fear and doubt have been holding me back. I’m sure you know how this feels. I mean,...
Apr 28th
“Avril Lavigne doesn’t let acne push her around. And neither should you”
– Proactive commercial. 12:11am
Apr 26th
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Apr 25th
To the three people who read this blog:
Come to the dragonfly on Sunday at 9pm for a fund raiser for the Best Friend’s Animal Society. It’s called “Puppy Mills Bite”  I will be performing my first ever music show with special guest Elaine Carroll. (www.verymarykate.com)   We will be singing a funny song that will blow your fucking mind. xo Jess
Apr 24th
Apr 19th
Ladies - watch out!
Guys with no game are bad at oral.
Apr 8th